Random Writing… Repost from 9.5.14

30 Layers… 30 Days… #100 #Representative Days 4-5

Day 4: 100% (Where in your life are you not showing up 100%)

Hmm, this made me really think and it made me sad to report that I’m not giving 100% in any areas of my life.  Although, I exceed expectations most of the time, when I look back I always find an area that I could have given more.  Let’s talk work for a minute.  I know I’m not giving 100% but the work is so non-challenging that I feel like 40% will exceed expectations.  If I say so myself, I do my job well but it doesn’t excite me.  I love the concept but I want a more hands on approach to helping people.  I do more than the bare minimum but I don’t give 100%.  Relationships – I try to give 100% especially when it comes to family and friends but if you read my previous post you will know that I’ve become selfish.  Selfish in the fact that I’m not willing to give 100% of myself for people who are only giving a small percentage of themselves.  I’m sure I could do more to be a better daughter, sister, aunt, cousin and friend but I can’t sacrifice and give more when I don’t get it in return.  Now, my love life is nonexistent these days.  And not because I’m not “trying” to date but because I haven’t come across the right one yet.  Or maybe the right one hasn’t come to me.  Either way, our paths haven’t crossed.  Dreams – the reality that I’m not giving 100% to my dreams makes me really sad.  My biggest problem is patience.  I don’t have any.  Maybe I should say very little.  This is a vast improvement for me.  I know some of my talents but I will quickly talk myself out of executing them most of the time.  And if I do execute them I always do it on a smaller scale than it should be.  However, I made a promise to myself to not let the fear of failing or being rejected rule over me.  I’m totally AWESOME at the things I do, especially when I give 100% and I just have to trust my talent and abilities. J  I will say this year I have been accomplishing things from my vision board.  It’s the best feeling in the world to have a vision posted on a board and to see it manifest!  Okay, I’ll be HONEST! I totally talk myself out of doing some things and definitely saying some things.  Not as much lately though.  Pre-thirties, I did this all the time.  Then I said what the heck… Hence the blogspot…almostunfiltered30. It took me a while to realize that I was responsible for me and no one else was.  So, I needed to be able to say what it was I wanted to say and to whomever.  Umm, not in a disrespectful kind of way but it has to be said.  I feel like there are so many areas in my life where I need to give more and show up 100% of the time.  I’m working on making my presence more known in these areas.  110% is my goal with exceptions.  And during those times I will give what it takes.   Even if it’s 150%.

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