Friendships… The Ones that Matter

“Some people won’t appreciate you as a friend because they don’t know how to be one!” ~Unknown

This is a very true statement.  What criteria must an individual fit to be considered a friend?  And I mean a REAL friend.  Not someone you can just hang out with.  And not just of the same sex.  You know people have friends of the opposite sex without all the kinky stuff.  I think the word used is platonic friendship. LOL!  Seriously, I just feel like the older I get the wiser I get.  At least, that’s what I think and yes I’m bias! Anyway, I see so many adults 25 or older spending valuable time on friendships/relationships that are going no where.  Why? Why aren’t we putting our time and energy into those meaningful relationships?

At 31, I will not entertain meaningless things.  If I have learned but one thing in the past few years, I have learned that life is too short to be taken for granted in friendships and/or relationships.  I want to be surrounded by positive, progressive individuals who challenge, motivate, and support me to be the best me. Sometimes we hold on to friendships because we are comfortable or maybe we have been friends for a while.  This is unacceptable.  I want friends who understand me and I understand them.  I want friends who know how to be a friend as I am to them.  I know there is no set criteria for genuine friendships but there are just some things I’m not willing to accept from a person I consider a friend.

Selfishness is at the top of the list.  Genuine people are selfless.  Attention seekers <– I don’t feel like I need to elaborate.  BUT people who think everything is all about THEM! If you can call me with all your problems and want me to be a listening ear, I should be able to do the same for you.  I should be able to call you out on your wrong doing without you pissing a fit and you should be able to do the same for me. People who are always being negative (joy snatchers) do not make the friends list.  Friendships are relationships.  You get out of it what you put into it.  Even if you are getting more at the moment at some point your friend(s) will realize you are taking them for granted.

Your friendships/relationships matter.  Give the best of your time and energy to those who matter.  Real friends aren’t the ones in the club with you every Saturday.  They are the ones with you when you need them most.  When you feel the most lonely they are the ones there comforting and consoling you.  Let’s not be fooled by “the  with you while the turn up is real” and “the there for you when life has forced you turn down”! There’s a difference.  Real friends are there for the good and the bad…the worse and worst…peace and chaotic… I only want the friendships/relationships that matter.  These are the ones that I cherish and give my time and energy too! 🙂